


Not The Girl You Expected

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fix-It, Head Injury, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Injury Recovery, Introspection, Loss of Virginity, Major Character Injury, Mentor/Protégé, Older Man/Younger Woman, Past Child Abuse, Rebuilding, Rule 63, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Hart was trying to do her best to get out of the estates. But her step-father wasn't having any of that and her mother wasn't helping any. But then a good looking stranger enters her life and now she's got a chance to do much more than just be one of Dean's girls. She can do it. She really can.</p><p>She just didn't plan on the end of world looming and developing a crush on Eggsy Unwin, who not only owed her a debt, but wanted her to succeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Galatea Rising

**Author's Note:**

> I love to write Genderswaps and I haven't seen a Harry being the one working her way out of the estate. So here this is. Proofed and edited, but if mistakes occur, they will be fixed. Young fem! Harry Hart is Haley Atwell.

“ _Not gonna let him do it. Can’t do it. I won’t-“_

“Harry! Get a move on, yeah?”

Jamal’s voice cut into the looping train of her thoughts and she swallowed, schooled her features and ran to catch up to her mates. Ryan’s eyes were dark as he looked at her, but he didn’t say anything as they rushed to the Black Prince. If they were lucky, they’d be able to drink without getting bothered by Dean’s goons. Harry was quickly becoming their favourite target and Jamal and Ryan were all too painfully aware that there wasn’t much that they could do if Rottie and the others decided to take initiative and get Harry “working”. This was something that Dean had been making noises about doing for a while now that Harry was out of the Navy and had been laid off her last menial job.

“Yeah, Alright! I'm going! I'm going!” Harry exclaimed, running up and bumping shoulders companionably with Jamal and Ryan as they ran the last two blocks and entered the Black Prince in higher spirits than they had left the estate. The mood was still good even after they had gotten their pints and were halfway through them and it was just the normal lull in the conversation when Rottie and the rest of Dean's men entered. Harry focused on her pint and Jamal and Ryan pretended to check their phones until it was safe to talk.

The atmosphere relaxed as the pints kept flowing and soon enough, Harry was getting up to collect their next round. She paid for the pints and forced herself to not worry about the dwindling amounts of cash in her secret bank account. She hadn't had a night out with her mates in a long time and she had a good lead at another job. This knowledge helped her focus on the pints she was carrying and ignore the outright leers of Rottie and the others as they watched her walk back to her table.

“All right, Harry?”

Ryan, the more perceptive of her mates, asked.

Harry nodded and put the pints down.

“This one and then we go?'

Harry nodded, taking a long pull of her pint and savouring the cold bitterness of it. She would have loved to have stayed longer and taken the piss out of her mates for a bit longer before going back home and minding Daisy. But she also knew that if she tried to stay out longer, Dean might not hold off on the flimsy promise he had made her mum and started pimping her out like the rest of the girls. He had threatened it, if she didn't find a job quickly enough for his liking and Harry was sure it was just a matter of time before they caught her off her guard and she was forced in cheap, highly revealing clothes and got sold off to the highest bidder.

Jamal and Ryan noticed her quietness and launched into one of their ridiculous monologues that never failed to make her laugh. Or at least crack a smile. It was working and she was more than half done her pint and relaxed when it happened.

Jamal was too loud. Had always been too loud and it wouldn't have made a difference at any other time. But tonight was different and all it did was rile Rottie and the others up. Enough so that Harry had acted as the peacemaker and signalled Jamal and Ryan to finish their pints while she held off Rottie's attention and stopped a fight.

It should have worked, but Rottie was in a mood and he also noticed the nice sequinned tank top that she was wearing under her long coat, the fitted jeans and boots with heels. It was her only nice outfit, a variation of her pulling outfit from her younger years and tamer than most of the outfits the girls at the estate wore out. All of that Rottie put aside as he looked down at her, crowding her in an intimidation tactic that she had learned to not flinch at whenever Dean did it to her or mum.

“Funny how you keep carrying about it ain't bein' proper, then you go swannin' about with yet tits half out! It's not like them lot are payin'! Or are they, Harry?”

She heard Jamal and Ryan yell out and the louder cheers and cries that had her friends shrinking back in their seats at the possibility of them getting walloped.

“Just drink up.”

Harry ordered them, her voice not betraying her impotent anger and fear as Rottie smirked down at her. She wasn't a tall woman and Rottie loved to rub that fact in whenever possible.

“I don't want any trouble, yeah? We're going now. I have to get home now, Rottie.”

Rottie mimicked her then, guffawing and showing his yellowed teeth. The rest of the crew were laughing and mocking her and it was all she could do to not react. She ignored the jeers and turned her face away so she wouldn't have to look at his repulsive leer as he got closer to her. He was too damned close and it set alarm bells pinging in her head. She would never let anyone get that close to her again, not after the last time. She had made a promise to herself and she needed to get away and fast.

It was that sense of preservation that pushed her into action.

It was also the reason why she was sitting in the police station staring at the telephone and wondering if she should finally make the call. After all those years and all that had happened in between them, she wondered if it was time. If she could get out of this one. Do her eighteen months, keep her head down and try to get away from Dean.

But the idea of leaving Daisy with Dean and Rottie and all those repulsive wankers made her stomach hurt and pushed her into making the phone call.

A call she nearly bombed until she gasped out ,“Oxfords, not Brogues”and the mechanical voice softened a bit as it read off the spiel and the call ended with a quiet “click”. She hung up the phone and put the medal around her neck again, careful to tuck it in her tank top. She had just finished when the cop opened the door and ushered her out with a look on his face so sour that it could have curdled milk.

He didn't say anything to her, just growled at her to get out and pick up her purse at the front desk. To her surprise, her little messenger bag was still there and when she checked, her phone, keys and wallet suspiciously stuffed with several twenty pound notes were all there. The clerk wouldn't meet her eyes and she decided to get going in case her luck was about to turn nasty.

Harry was about to start walking away when someone called her name. She turned around and blinked at the sheer perfection that was leaning against the wall of the Police Station. He was tall and lanky with a whipcord thin frame that spoke of money. Loads of it. And breeding, like the Austen novels she kept hidden under her bed talked about over and over again. He had it and it was effortless, on his part.

His hair was reddish-brown, glossy and combed in a style she hadn't seen outside of the vandalised history texts she used back in school. His suit was grey with pinstripes and looked like it cost more than anything she had in her wardrobe back home. Everything about this gorgeous man spoke of money, manners and not of her world. He didn't look like he was up to something, but she was wary all the same and turned to walk away and hopefully catch the bus and make it home at a decent time.

“Harry, can I offer you a ride home?”

Her eyes widened at that and she simply clutched at her bag before turning away from him. She had heard that line before. She wasn't about to fall for it now, even if he was well fit. She had heard stories. She had seen Sheerese Jones after she had talked to a posh bloke. Got a hundred and fifty quid out of it, but also had to stay in the hospital for a week for them. Harry didn't think that was worth it in the end. So she moved quickly, but was stopped again by the bloke, who sounded pretty agitated about it too.

“Harry!”

The posh bloke called her name again, this time putting his hand on her shoulder, which she shook off quickly as she turned around and away from him.

“I'm not a _whore!_ Besides, I don't even know you!”

A look of consternation crossed the bloke's face before he backed away and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

“Harry, I'm not trying to pick you up and you do know me. I gave you that medal. I got you out of there.”

He said, gesturing to the medal she had hidden and then back to the Police Station.

Harry's eyes widened even more as her hand went to her neckline to touch the chain of her medal.

“Who are you, then?”

He smiled, only one side of his mouth curling up as he did. His eyes sparkled a light green and Harry had to remind herself that he wasn't her kind. Nor did she know if he was some old creepy perv.

“My name is Eggsy Unwin. I gave you that medal and your father saved my life.”

~*~*~*~*~

Harry was torn between disbelief, awe, and disdain for the man sitting across from her in the Black Prince Pub. He had bought her a pint of the light lager and a Guinness for himself, while he explained the connection they had to each other. Although he would cut her off when asking about certain things, she had to admit that she believed him. Her dad had been a brave man. She had the pictures of him in his army uniform, taped up and hidden away so that Dean wouldn't destroy the last memories she had of him other than the medal. She knew he hated the memory of Lee Hart. He was everything that he never would be. Ever. He knew that if Lee hadn't died, Michelle wouldn't have ever looked at him and Harry had once made the mistake of saying so.

She had gotten a broken arm and ribs for her troubles and all of the pictures of Lee were ripped up and in the trash. All except the ones she had managed to save and repair.

Harry had never dared to say that ever again. But she never stopped thinking it. Especially whenever Dean smacked her and her mother around. Or had. He'd stopped that ever since she had joined the Marines and come back with more muscle and knowledge of how easily joints could pop out of their sockets. Only threats to Daisy were the only thing that kept her in check now.

She felt a warmth and a bit of pride hearing that description of her dad. It helped justify why her mum became such a mess after he died and why it all got bollocked up in the end and they lived in little better than a squalid bed-sit. But of course it all went south when Eggsy started to berate her.

She countered, but he kept on ripping down all of her weak excuses. She knew that they were weak, but it was all she had to throw at him, rather than the truth that not even Michelle knew or chose to ignore. The latter probably, with her mum. She wanted to rip into him, only succeeding in making him raise an impeccably groomed eyebrow before they were interrupted by Rottie and the rest of Dean's men.

She tried to not shrink back into her seat, but the menace in their eyes was enough to make her do it just a bit. Even though she knew it was the wrong move to do, since it made Rottie smirk and give him the opening he needed. He didn't say anything. Only smiled that hideous smile of his as he roughly grabbed her arm and jerked her half-way out of the booth.

“Dean said it's time to get ready. You're gonna start tonight.”

He yanked again, but was stopped by Eggsy's hand on his arm.

“I'm sure that you do have a legitimate beef with her, but I'd like to talk to Harry and finish our pints, if that would be allright with you.”

Rottie smiled then, and yanked Harry to her feet.

“No can do. This cunt's gotta get to work. She's got loads of time to make up for. Besides, if you want her so bad, come back in two hours. Fifty quid an hour.”

Harry didn't quite recall the catalyst of the fight. One moment, she was being held in a vice-like grip with Rottie grinning down at Eggsy, who was sitting there with a nearly empty pint glass in his hand watching the events with a blank face. The others were laughing at Rottie's oh so witty comment and the next thing she knew, Rottie was knocked down by that exact pint glass being smashed into his forehead.

He let go of her when he fell and she wasted no time in scrambling out of range just in time to see Eggsy clean the floor with those clowns. He barely was dishevelled as he knocked out the publican and then turned to look at her. He laughed softly to himself when he saw her still on the floor, her eyes wide at the scene before her and extended a hand to help her to her feet.

His hand was warm and calloused and she could guess at the nature of that. Her face got slightly pink at the sight of his hair flopping messily about his face and she just barely missed the flicker of sadness that crossed his gaze when he pressed on his watch and aimed it at her.

She didn't even have time to throw her hands up and plead. He lowered it and looked down at Rottie, who was sprawled out at his feet and sighed heavily.

“Is what he said true? That you're going to be put to work as a whore?”

Harry sighed and nodded as she pulled her coat closed over her tank top and hugged herself.

“I ain't got a job and I can't go back to the Marines. I've been avoiding it for awhile... But I guess it's finally caught up with me. Especially after they wake up and Dean hears about this.”

Eggsy blinked and looked up at the ceiling, his eyes moving as if he was trying to come up with a decision. Harry watched him do this and was bracing herself to hear another rejection when Eggsy finally looked at her and extended his hand.

“How would you feel about doing a different kind of job instead?”

 


	2. Not the Way I Expected to Pay a Debt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy gives his reasons for recruiting Harry Hart, while Merlin questions his motives. Meanwhile, Valentine's moving on with his plan, Harry is coming into her own and the test looms closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is more of Eggsy's point of view. It does have a whole lot of interaction between Merlin and Eggsy and not so much with Harry. It's the foil to the first chapter, where we saw Harry and her world. Eggsy here is a bit different due to his upbringing, which is upper class, but not disgustingly so that he's not fully aware of what is going on outside of his class. The chapter will explain it in detail. 
> 
> Also, due to some abusive and over the top comments I've received on other stories, I'm going to put the caveat and warning here-This chapter does hint at past abuse in Harry's life. Harry's not indicative of all victims, since there are unique responses to trauma. Harry's character is in part, based on someone in RL, that's all I will say about that. So if she doesn't act quite "right" then that is the reason why. 
> 
> Proofed and edited, but if mistakes remain, they will be fixed. 
> 
> Thank you and enjoy.

“So Lee’s daughter called us earlier today.”

Eggsy casually dropped into the conversation that he was having with Merlin as they made their way through headquarters.

Merlin’s brow furrowed. “Lee Hart had a child?”

Eggsy nodded. “Daughter. Hero Leigh Hart. Goes by Harry. Can’t blame her. Rough enough growing up on an estate with a neglectful mother and a stepfather that wants to pimp her out.”

Merlin’s steps slowed a fraction as he started to connect the dots.

“So I recruited her for Kingsman.”

Merlin blinked and

“You did what exactly?”

Merlin’s accent got thicker with disbelief as he and Eggsy were walking towards the recruit’s dormitory.

Eggsy shrugged at Merlin’s tone. He knew it was an unconventional move and was proud that despite the years that they had worked together, he could still shock the Scot. It gave him a nice sense of accomplishment, since Merlin seemed to function on another level and know just about everything that was going to happen. Or so it seemed.

“Well, James is gone and we did get the injunction on putting forth a recruit. So why not her?”

Eggsy asked in a cool and composed tone that made Merlin sigh and take a long, hard look at his long-time colleague and friend. He knew that look of studied nonchalance. Knew it all too well, in fact.

“Indeed. A Marine training drop out who more or less raised herself and is raising her half-sister due to her mother’s neglect and has, by sheer bloody luck and your meddling, escaped arrest. Indeed, she’d be perfect recruit material.”

Merlin concluded, his accent giving his observations more than just a sarcastic tinge to them. He paused and looked sharply at Eggsy before he continued.

“Nothing to do with the fact that she’s a pretty little thing with a bastard for a step-father out to exploit her and the daughter of the late Lee Hart, right?”

Eggsy’s left eyelid twitched and Merlin smiled humourlessly at the shot he had scored. It had been as he had suspected and not just simple altruism or the finding of a diamond in the rough. Although Hero “Harry” Hart was exactly that. He had seen her files, after all and despite the pot shot, he felt that she’d go far and maybe even make it into the final stages.

Eggsy’s mouth twisted into a wry grin, but he didn’t deny Merlin’s words.

“She would have been more than another statistic or another promising girl on an estate with no chances if I hadn’t missed the grenade. Lee had hopes for her. Giving her a chance to have more than menial drudgery, abusive boyfriends, and brats she can ill afford is not quite enough to pay the debt to her father, but it would be a start to put her on the same footing as the women we interact with on a daily basis.”

The last was said flatly, and Merlin felt his mouth tightening, since he knew that was the difference between Harry Hart and girls like Roxy Morton and Amelia. Money and connections and the chance to put that untapped potential to use. He also was quite aware that if it hadn't been for a similar chance, Eggsy's father and grandfather would have simply remained coal miners in Gwynedd.

Despite being two generations removed from working class and Cambridge educated; there were certain factions, like Chester King, who wouldn't ever let Eggsy, Bors, Kay and Tristan live down their humble roots. It was the subtle classism that had prompted Eggsy to propose Lee Hart as a recruit and it was that same disdain that was part of him doing the same for Hero Leigh Hart.

“I get that, Gary. I really do. But what if she washes out? This would be the last time, you know.”

Eggsy's jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in his cheek jumped.

“I know that. I'm all too aware of that, Callum.” Eggsy replied frostily, sighing heavily as he took of his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was trying to stave off a headache.

“I know I'm giving her hope and death in the same sentence. She was painfully aware of the cons more than the pros. She's not a little girl, Callum. In fact, I think she stopped being that the day after I dropped off the medal and the snowglobe.”

Eggsy's eyes darkened as he recalled how careful Eggsy was to keep a good amount of distance between them in the cab. How tense and wary she had been when he had pressed a hand to her back when he had urged her into the elevator at headquarters. How she had always scouted the exits and how she had instinctively kept her back to the wall when Merlin had gotten her into the dormitory.

Merlin caught the glare and rubbed his forehead, sighing heavily at the same time.

“You know the honeypot might be a problem if that's the case.”

Eggsy nodded, his brow furrowing at the thought.

“Maybe. But let's not count her out yet. It's the first night. Give her the benefit of the doubt.”

Merlin nodded and they continued on their walk down the corridor, splitting up in different directions and going to their respective duties.

~*~*~*~*~

Eggsy blinked at the remaining shards of the two way mirror and the pools of water that soaked the entire control room and dormitory quarters while Merlin tapped at his clipboard and recorded the results of the water test.

“Well, I'm going to hazard a guess that this was _not_ the expected outcome of the situation.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and continued to tap away, while Eggsy examined the damage.

“So I guess the old u-bend in the toilet trick didn't occur to Harry?”

Merlin snorted. “She could tell it was a two-way mirror the second she saw it. She didn't see another alternative since the other recruits didn't believe in teamwork and smashed it to bits. Then she and Roxy got Amelia breathing again.”

Merlin smiled slightly at how they hadn't even waited for his teamwork speech and instead had launched into CPR and helping the other recruit while Charlie Heskett and his group simply watched. Amelia had, of course, been out of the running at that time. But it still hadn't stopped Roxy and Harry from comforting her until they were kicked out into a fresh dormitory.

It might go against her during the end tests, that compassion. But it was too early to tell and he didn’t feel that it merited any mention yet. Eggsy had been soft as well and it hadn’t hampered his ability to finish any mission that he undertook, being great at compartmentalizing his life and work. Merlin suspected that Harry could do the same given the situation, so he simply opted to wait and see.

“You may be right about her after all, Eggsy. She may not have the most delicate methods, but she got the job done. Do you want me to keep you posted on her progress, then?”

It was a foregone conclusion, but he still wanted to make sure that was the case. He had a suspicion, but wouldn’t dare voice it until he had enough proof. He respected Eggsy that much and knew that his colleague would be offended at the implication that he had more than debt payment and Harry’s well-being in mind.

Eggsy nodded as he slipped his glasses on. “Please do. Although I doubt that I will be gone for that long with this new mission. Thank you Merlin.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go, Eggsy and good luck with it, yeah?”

~*~*~*~*~

Merlin would later say that he was distracted with letting Arthur know what hadn’t caused Eggsy to be out of commission for not hearing Harry come in and see her mentor comatose.

He wished that he could have caught her before she saw him. He knew that it was bound to be a heavy emotional blow to see Eggsy like that. Merlin suspected that like Eggsy, there was another layer to how Harry saw Eggsy as well. He also guessed that unless Eggsy made his intentions explicit and clear, she would continue to keep her distance.

She trusted Eggsy. Felt a strong connection to him, but she wouldn't ever let him get too close. Not until she knew exactly where he stood. She had learned too damned quickly to not let anyone get too close without knowing for sure if they were going to stay.

So he did kick himself when she slipped past him, her footsteps quick as she came up to Eggsy's bed. She inhaled sharply as she took in the sight of Eggsy and it was then that Merlin caught on and put his hand lightly on her shoulder.

“Is Eggsy gonna be all right?”

She asked, her voice wavering just slightly as she spoke. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide and dark and... Afraid. He was sure he saw the fear reflected in them before it was quickly wiped away and her face was a composed blank mask again. It was all over so fast that Merlin wasn't even really sure that he had seen it at all. He filed it away for future reference and instead focused on damage control, since he could feel the disapproval like a wall of ice from Arthur.

“He will be. But right now, focus on your training. Make him proud.”

Harry perked up a bit and nodded, casting one last look at an immobile Eggsy and ignoring Arthur completely before exiting the room.

“Is that Eggsy's candidate?”

Chester asked the moment that the door had closed behind Harry, the disdain clear on his face.

“Yes. Harry Hart. She's a strong candidate for Lancelot.”

Chester frowned. “A bit...Common for the position, isn't she?”

Merlin schooled his features accordingly, since he knew that Chester was referring to Harry's badly dyed and unkempt hair and her accent, which had softened a bit from the thick Cockney one she had come in with.

“She's a strong candidate for the position.”

Merlin offered neutrally, to which Chester smiled condescendingly.

“We'll see. Breeding will out. It always does.”

~*~*~*~*

“So he actually did say that after Harry had left? That breeding will always win out?”

Eggsy asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the frame of the hospital bed he had been ensconced in for months.

Merlin made a noise deep in his throat. “That alone was enough to make me put twenty quid against Charlie Heskett. Harry's in the top six and her scores are ridiculous. Far above what we had projected for her and even those were quite high in our estimation.”

Eggsy grinned as he looked at his friend.

“Oh don't be so smug about it. You were right. She's got the potential and the drive to go far.”

“Indeed she does. So now can you tell me anything about what had me-”

Eggsy was cut off by the door to his room swinging open and revealing Harry, who had a small pug on a leash. But this wasn't the Harry that he had offered employment to those months ago.

That Harry hadn't quite been heavy, but she was soft and needing to get back into shape. Her hair was long, unkempt and bleached heavily. She hadn't looked like anything but what she was: A girl from a lower income estate that couldn't afford or know any better.

But now, she was every inch the lady she would be if she succeeded in winning the Lancelot position. She was all muscle, the softness completely gone. Her hair had been cut and styled and had been dyed back to the dark chestnut that Eggsy recalled had been Lee's own colour. There was a certain confidence and poise in her that did wonders to how she presented herself.

If Eggsy hadn't known any better, he would have pegged her for a convent school girl, privately educated and doing her gap year before she was due to take up her place Cambridge. She looked every inch the girl that Lee wanted her to become. She also had become the woman Eggsy hadn't been fully aware that she was until at that exact moment.

A woman that he damned well knew was quite out of his reach.

“Harry, I would have appreciated it if you had learned to knock before entering a room.”

Eggsy reminded her gently, his tone taking the sting out of what would have been harsh words. He truly didn’t care, but the comment helped hide the dismay and his own flustered mind at his earlier awareness of how much she had changed.

“Sorry, Eggsy. Just wanted to see if you were awake and ready.”

Harry replied, brushing the words aside as she got closer with a little pug leading the way.

Merlin let them have this time before he tried to usher her out, fully aware of his failure to do so last time, but Eggsy stopped him.

He had meant it only as a conciliatory and training gesture, but it turned out that she had given them more of a lead due to her leading them to a probable lead regarding Valentine’s future plans.

“Aren't you glad that she didn't leave?”

Eggsy asked after she had left, being called away for another training exercise.

Merlin only rolled his eyes, but didn't pursue the matter further. If it hadn't been for Harry's enthusiasm about Valentine's SIM cards, they wouldn't have connected the dots. It was only that reason and that reason alone that he didn't puncture Eggsy's smugness just yet.

“She's boxing clever all right. But just make sure that's all you're admiring, right Eggsy?”

It was both a parting shot and a warning that he normally wouldn’t have given, but it had been worth seeing Eggsy's sputters as he let himself out.

Point for Merlin

~*~*~*~

Eggsy sat in his office alone, the report on his desk nearly finished, but his thought about Harry had distracted him enough for him to need to take a break.

He knew that Merlin hadn’t meant to get under his skin (or much. He knew how Merlin operated) with his remark about Harry. Yet, it had given him pause. Merlin was right. He couldn’t afford to get too attached to her. Not when there was a high probability of her dying like her father had.

Or worse, failing the test altogether.

Eggsy winced when he reached for his half-empty glass and took a small sip of his whiskey.

He had finally seen the footage of Harry’s driving. It had been amazing that she had been able to do that and if it wasn’t for her not wanting to hit the cat, she would have gotten away.

If she hadn’t that much conscience, she wouldn’t have even thought twice about hitting the cat and getting away. But she had and Eggsy had to figure out a way to inure her enough to pass the test. She had to pass the test. As much as she needed the placement, Kingsman needed the new blood.

Eggsy sighed and threw back the rest of the whiskey before pouring himself another one. He put the glass down and propped his chin with his hand as he tried to figure out ways to make it happen.

“Harts will be the death of me yet, it seems.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy- I kind of see Eggsy as much more mellow, but ruthless at the same time. He's not cruel to be cruel and he can compartmentalize his job and his life, so he's got less of a chip on his shoulder than the other Eggsy. So basically, this is the Eggsy that would have been if Lee hadn't died. 
> 
> Harry's name-I went with Hero Leigh Hart in this one, since I can imagine Lee had dreams for his daughter and Hero seems solid and middle class. Not so much on an estate. She will explain how she got Harry as a nickname. 
> 
> Harry's mannerisms-As I stated in the earlier note, she's been abused and has some tells that would be fairly obvious to people that are trained to see them. They are NOT indicative or meant as a generalization of what victims of abuse go through. They are based off of RL. That's all I will say about that. 
> 
> Merlin-I've had him as Andrew in another story, but Callum felt right for this one. 
> 
> Sorry for the wall of text in regards to notes, but just trying to cover the bases here. Thanks for your patience.


	3. But I was screaming inside my head, you are the only thing making sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The traditional twenty four hours between mentor and protege are upon Eggsy and Harry and things go far differently than either of them had planned. Far differently.

Eggsy briefly wondered if it was a mistake, bringing Harry to his home the night before the dog test when she entered it with a mixture of suspicion and reverence. He knew that his house was more than she was used to, but he didn't think that there would be that much of a contrast between the shoddy estate flat and his own home. Especially after the long months of training she had spent at the estate. Luxury like this should have been second nature to her by now. _Would_ become second nature to her when she became Lancelot.

“You don't have to nervous. It's not Buckingham. Come in. Make yourself at home. Would you like something to drink?”

Eggsy asked, not wanting the weird tension that had fallen between them to lengthen.

“Tea. Yorkshire if you have it.”

Harry replied, her voice soft, but sure. The suspicion and the trepidation of earlier was gone and there stood the woman that Eggsy had seen in the hospital when he had woken up.

“Good. Do you want to stay in the sitting room or-”

He gestured to the kitchen and Harry moved with alacrity, the heels of her boots clacking on the polished floor as she followed him to the kitchen counter. She hoisted herself up on the stool and watched as Eggsy took off his suit jacket and exchanged it for a pin-striped apron. She watched him tie it behind his back and when he went for the kettle, she raised an eyebrow at the sight.

“You can't expect for me to get my suit dirty while cooking dinner. Besides, it's not like it's frilly with pink roses splashed all over it.”

Harry snorted at that and shook her head, the thick waves of it brushing her shoulders as she did, making Eggsy's mind blank just a bit at the sight of them. He hadn't seen her hair be wavy or even approaching curly when he had met her. He knew Michelle had naturally straight blonde hair and Lee...Try as he might, he couldn't recall much about Lee's hair or the texture of it at the moment. His image, along with the guilt he carried, was starting to fade more than just around the edges.

He cleared his throat and levelled a look at Harry, making her smirk at him, her eyes crinkling up as she smiled, making something pang deep in his chest. It was something that he wasn't willing to explore any further and instead, put his hands on the counter and leaned over to look into her eyes.

“Right. So Yorkshire for tea. Anything else you'd like with that? Hobnobs? Jammy Dodgers?”

Harry's eyes lit up at the mention of Hobnobs, the childish joy at the biscuits making the pain ease from his chest. This wasn't supposed to be mawkish and charged with awkwardness. This was tradition and it was just the last night that a mentor and his charge would meet before they either met as equals, or he would have to-

He shut that thought off quickly, cleanly. He wasn't going to be repeating the actions of twenty years ago with Michelle Hart. Harry was going to make it. She was going to be Lancelot if it was the last thing that he could do. He believed in her, just like he had believed in Lee.

“There will be Hobnobs. But also cucumber sandwiches and scones. Now up. I need a pair of extra hands in here.'

Harry made a face at that.

“I thought I was the guest here. So come I gotta help make the tea?”

Eggsy cast her a look as he filled the kettle with water. Harry withstood it for a bit longer than he had guessed she would before sighing and taking off her jacket and moving to take her place over the cutting board laid out on the island.

“Aprons are in that drawer over there. Now I need you to cut the cucumbers into slices.”

Harry muttered something to herself before she followed suit, missing Eggsy's smile.

This would be a success after all.

~*~*~*~

Tea and then dinner went as smoothly as Eggsy could hope for. He had given her a tour of the house (quickly sidestepping the spare room, since Mr. Pickles resided there after a former flame had been a bit too creeped out by the idea of taking a piss under the dog's gaze), his office and now ending up in the kitchen again, with Harry looking at him sceptically as he tried to teach her the proper way to make a Martini. He was on his third try and Harry was slowly drinking down his second attempt.

“Eggsy...It's really okay. I don't think that this is some sort of make it or break it situation, mate. At this rate, we're going to be getting sloshed and I do have that final test tomorrow.”

Eggsy grinned at her as he finally got the correct proportions, plopped an olive in the glass and passed it over to her, while he made his own. It was still a proper one despite the amount that he had put away and Harry, despite herself, was impressed. He was no worse for the wear other than his cheeks being bright pink and his grin turning into something more reckless and filled with the promise of danger. Despite the alcohol, he was still a proper gentleman and nothing like the men on estate.

Dean and the other men she knew tended to get sloppy and mean when they got drunk. They got handsy. Even Ryan had somehow managed to cop a feel when he had been nearly blacked out. She had hit him in the eye and was mortified when he came round to apologize, Jamal having had filled him in. She had brushed it off and it was never spoken of again, but after that, Jamal made sure to keep an eye on Ryan when he was drunk. Ryan himself had never gotten that blotto ever again when he was around her. They never spoke of it, but Harry did appreciate the gesture all the same.

Eggsy wasn't a danger though. She knew, despite the fact that she knew he'd killed more people than she had even known, that she was safe with him. He hadn't tried anything funny with her. Had been exactly what his codename implied. Purity and the best of all of Arthur's nights.

She had looked it up when she was still in the early stages of training and he had been lying in a coma. All of the legends and the poetry that she dimly recalled having to read in fifth form once Charlie and his mates had taken the piss out of her for her ignorance of certain things. She had managed it and she understood the ideals that the Kingsman agency was trying to uphold. She also understood the stories behind the code names. Although she had secretly thought it was just some rich twit thing, seeing how Eggsy and Merlin behaved made her see why they had chosen the names, the concept.

Eggsy _was_ Galahad and she had to admit as the time went on, that she had developed feelings for him. Of what sort, she couldn't really parse or describe. Other than that with him, she felt safe. She felt that she could be the someone that he saw and she was just now starting to see within herself. She had succeeded in all of the training and exams because he believed that she could. Yes, she wanted to be a Kingsman. Not just for herself, but for her sister and her mother and for him.

(In her weaker moments, the ratios were reversed and it mostly was for him.)

She was realizing this as she slowly sipped the drink. Already, she was feeling the effects of the alcohol, despite the tea and the dinner that Eggsy had made for them. She was glad that she had eaten so much, or else she would be on her way to being a little more than buzzed. She couldn't have that and as much as she wanted to make the night stretch out, hear more of Eggsy's stories and advice, she was going to have to cut it short soon if she was going to get some sleep and go through the test.

Eggsy made a face at her when she pushed the near empty glass away and made to get up and away from the island.

“As much as I want to taste your success-”

She cut herself off and felt herself blushing at the word choice. Maybe she should have stopped already. Either way, she cleared her throat and pushed gamely on.

“I mean, as much as I'd love to have this last successful Martini with you, Eggsy, I'm afraid I really should get to bed. Will I be sleeping with you, or...Oh shit. I'm sorry. Uhm...Maybe-”

She turned to look away from Eggsy, who had put the empty glass down and forced herself to not flush over every little thing she had just said. Maybe there was something in drinking next to a fit, kind, and gentle man that had her blurting out how she felt about him.

“Harry. Stop.”

She snapped her mouth shut and looked at the floor.

“Harry, don't be embarrassed. You're right. Maybe I overdid it with the drinks. It has been... Awhile since I've had anyone of your calibre at my home.”

She felt her face flaming hotly at his words. Although she wanted to preen under the praise, she was still under the mortification that she had more or less clumsily admitted her feelings to him. She hadn't ever wanted to let him know. He was posh and probably had equally posh women falling all over themselves to be with him.

She knew what she was and she never thought that she'd ever meet someone like him and grow to know him and fall for himself. She figured that at the best, she'd end up with Jamal or someone like Dean. Minus the violence.

“Harry, can you please look at me?”

Eggsy's voice cut into her thoughts and she looked up. He was close and she could smell his clean, masculine scent mingled with his expensive aftershave. Something with bergamot and citrus that had her licking her lips and pressing her thighs together. She was all too aware of his strength and his proximity to her. She was all too aware of every inch of him and she held her breath as she waited for what would happen next.

She didn't have to wait long for Eggsy's eyes to flicker to a darker green and to feel the press of his mouth on hers.

He tasted like lemon and just a hint of bitterness from the gin itself. His mouth was soft and his taste was intoxicating to her as he explored the inside of her mouth, his lips moving gently and skilfully as he embraced her close to himself and deepened the kiss. She responded with alacrity and when the kiss was broken, she didn’t move back.

“Let’s go to bed.”

He murmured and pulled her upstairs, his grip loose enough that she could get loose if she wanted to.

She didn’t want to let go of him. Despite being slightly hesitant and nervous. It was an old mixture of feelings that popped up whenever she was with someone. Even though she knew that they weren’t going to hurt her, the emotions were still there. At least the alcohol she had drunk had the effect of tamping those feelings down until they were just brief pulses on the edge of her subconscious.

It went far easier after they were in the bedroom. He kissed her, gentle kisses that were like caresses as he gently helped her slip her clothes off before guiding her down onto the bed with equal tenderness. He kissed her neck as he worked his own clothes off, leaving her underwear for her to deal with, which she did quickly when he lay on top of her, his movements slow and controlled as he did.

His weight wasn't suffocating or wrong. His skin was quite warm and he was warming her up with his proximity. When he pulled back to get rid of his boxers, she shivered before she followed suit with her own knickers and bra. He was hard against her, but he didn’t move to get inside her, like she had feared.

Instead, he kissed her lower lip before rolling away from her and embracing her waist loosely. She sighed, craving more contact and turned to face him.

She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled her body closer to his, unsure of what she was seeking when he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, mouthing soft kisses down her neck and shoulder, making her shiver at the delightful sensation of his lips on her skin.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

He murmured, trailing the fingers of his free hand down her spine, making her arch against him.

“Whatever you want.”

He laughed and nipped lightly at her earlobe.

“I want to make you scream my name. I want to have you writing underneath me, begging for me to make you come over and over again until we both pass out.”

His voice a raw whisper that had her nerves tingling with the sound of it. She wanted it. She wanted him so much that she could hardly contain the dull ache of desire pooling between her legs. She could feel herself be swollen and ripe with desire. She needed him.

“Do it.”

It was all the permission that Eggsy needed to kiss her deeply as his hand went between them and slipped briefly into her, making her gasp in surprise at his touch and shy away slightly until he pulled away slightly.

“Have you ever done this before?”

Harry felt her face turn hot at his question, since she knew how ridiculous it might seem for a girl her age to be a virgin in the estates. She had friends who had kids at sixteen, for fuck's sake! But there she was, still a virgin and hiding it all behind a smoke-screen of brash words and being Michelle Hart's daughter.

It was also because Dean would and could scare anyone away who he guessed had any intentions of “ruining his merchandise” as he saw it. He had plans for Harry. She was well aware of them after the incidents with one of his men had abruptly stopped once he had found out.

That had been the first time that Harry found out that just because someone does something kind for you, it doesn't mean that they are doing it out altruism. There's always a payment expected.

She had thought that was the norm until she met Eggsy.

But this wasn't the time to tell him that.

He took her silence for an answer and kissed her cheekbone.

“Don't worry about a thing, my dear girl.”

He slid his hand down to touch her again, lightly stroking her until she was again, writhing against him. But he still didn't take any action other than stroke her and slip his fingers inside, teasing her with what was to come. He slipped one, then two fingers in, slicking her up until she was pliant enough. It was then that he pushed her onto her back and climbed on top of her, his elbows supporting most of his weight as he dipped his head to kiss her shoulder.

“It will hurt a bit.”

She barely had time to nod when she felt the press of him against her. She instinctively spread her legs further to accommodate him. He pushed in, making her whimper. He didn't stop. Not until he was fully inside and she was biting her lip to keep from crying out. She had worse. But this. This was different and she had to force herself to breathe deeply and ride out the pain that she knows will change and develop into pleasure if she lets it.

They lay still for what felt like an eternity, before Eggsy started to move. It was slow going, a rhythm that shifted smoothly into something more practice, more polished until the burning dissipated. He got his forehead on hers and he shifted enough so that his fingers were right...

She cried out then, when the sensations mingled together to shut down her brain. All she was aware of as how Eggsy moved inside her, how his fingers played her as skilfully as a violin. How he whispered and kissed her forehead. How it all tumbled together into a vortex of pleasure that had her crying out, screaming out his voice mingled with hers, until it all snapped into a spark of white and then black.

~*~*~*~*~

“Where's Harry?”

Eggsy looked up from his laptop and sat back in his chair as Merlin came into his office after rapping on the door perfunctorily.

“She's in with one of your minions, no doubt. We are leaving for Kentucky today.”

Merlin frowned and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“How did she get over the block of shooting JB?”

Eggsy took a delicate sip of his whiskey and Merlin scowled.

“It wasn't like that, Callum. Nothing like that at all. You know me better than that.”

“There was a whole lot at stake, Eggsy.” Merlin replied tightly.

“I know that! All too aware that there is still more at stake! This is the tie mission, Callum! The dog test was only one hurdle! We all knew that Harry would be too soft-hearted and Roxy would ace it no problem, but don't you dare insinuate that I manipulated that girl into passing it. Don't you dare make it sordid, because it wasn't like that at all.”

“Then what was it like?”

Eggsy sighed, sipping more whiskey as he tried to articulate what it was that had happened between himself and Harry.

He hadn't set out to do anything remotely near seducing her. Maybe give her hints on how to deal with the test. Oblique reminders that she needed to trust her minder. Nothing more than that. But he had cottoned on to the fact that despite everything, there was still a breach that needed to be healed for them to move forward.

But he never would have guessed that it was going to come to them going to bed and him being her first, deflowering her, taking her virginity and all those bloody flowery phrases for her first time. He had been surprised it had happened, but he hadn't been sorry. Even if he had sent a silent apology to Lee for sleeping with his daughter. He refused to be sorry.

And if it had been the last step she needed before she walked in that room and pulled the trigger to pass the test with flying colours, then so be it. He wouldn't apologize for that either.

“Nothing that I wouldn't do again if I needed to.”

“That is all she is to you? A means to an end?”

Eggsy finished the drink and stood up.

“You of all people should know better than to ask me that, Merlin.”

“Someone has to.”

“She's mine.”

It was said with such seriousness and finality that Merlin had to take a couple of moments to let that sink in.

“Oh Eggsy. I do hope that you know what you're doing. Especially with someone like Harry.”

“I won't break her, Callum. That will be the last thing I do. I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~

Merlin didn't tell her any of that when he set her and Roxy loose in Valentine's bunker.

He needed her to be the weapon that Eggsy wouldn't make her.

“I'm so sorry, Eggsy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy and Harry- It had been in the cards for awhile that they were going to do the deed and the reason for the lingering scene, rather than wham, bam, thank you ma'am is due to Harry's trust issues and the fact that her past has made her leery of being closely intimate with anyone that way. Dean, I can imagine, would be skeezy enough to think about pimping her out even back then, so he'd probably be protecting the merchandise, so to speak.  
> I also wanted to make it clear that it was her choice and she does want to be with Eggsy, who is quite aware of her past and moves things slow, since he wouldn't be inconsiderate about it. 
> 
> Eggsy's motives-He does come off as a bit manipulative, since he did need to close that slight current of mistrust, but he had no real plan to seduce Harry and shoot JB. He's fully aware that it does factor in with the fact that Harry does trust his orders and she passes the test, but that was an added bonus for him. His feelings are complicated, but he truly cares about her.
> 
> Kentucky mission-This will be elaborated on in the next chapter, since it didn't flow when I was writing this and tried to add it on. This chapter focuses mostly on Eggsy and Harry's relationship and the aftermath of them being together.
> 
> Thank you all who are reading and commenting and apologies for the wall of text.


	4. This Never Ending Story, Paid For With Pride and Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath of V-Day and how Merlin and Harry deal with the fall out of not just Kentucky, but the world being in shambles and needing to be righted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit more introspective than the other chapters, since we get more into Harry and Merlin's head in this one. There's also a whole lot of revelations and plans for what the future will look like. Also, Roxy gets more than just a background cameo in this one.
> 
> This has been proofed, but if there are mistakes I apologize. It is a bit hard to not fall into patterns when this is a role-reversal story. Title is from Close to the Edge by 30STM. 
> 
> Also-Not a professional in a medical field and I have gleaned stuff from research and watching war movies for the descriptions of injuries and medical procedures. So if I get some stuff wrong, I do admit to my mistakes whole-heartedly.

 

 

Harry barely registered anything after she ended up back on the plane after politely refusing the advances of Prince Gustav Karl. She did savour the look of shock and surprise at being rebuffed, no matter how gently, and had gone to Merlin and Roxy. Her tie had been ruined and she had tossed it somewhere as she sank gratefully down those plush seats.

She groaned quietly as the adrenaline wore off and her injuries started to make themselves known. It had been a hard won fight and she was feeling it. She shifted and tried to sit up instead of being in the ungainly sprawl she had slumped in and hissed in pain as her ribs protested. She hoped that she hadn’t broken anything and that it was just deep bruises. The last thing she needed was to be lying in bed with nothing to do but to relive the past few days and Eggsy's death.

Although she could think about it, it wasn't without a mental flinch. They had accompanied him as their last tie breaker. Yet he hadn't wanted her or Roxy out in the field with him since Merlin and Eggsy suspected that Valentine had a trick up his sleeve.

They had been right. The signal hadn't affected Roxy and Harry, but it had left them to watch the massacre at the church. Despite the gruesomeness of it, how Eggsy moved through the church congregation left Harry stunned. It was as if Eggsy himself was death personified, how he cut a swath through all of them. It was calculated and elegant brutality and Harry knew that as long as she lived, she wouldn't ever forget that savage grace.

Watching him kill with such elegance and precision made Harry and Roxy exchange a glance of understanding. Eggsy, for all his charm, easy smiles and warmth, was a killer. The suit, the grin, and the beauty hid it most of the time, but it had always been there. Maybe he had known that he would be affected that way. Or maybe it had been a lucky guess. Either way, his order to stay and act like his back up had no doubt saved them, Harry knew. But she still couldn't stop from feeling horribly guilty about not doing something to save him.

“Harry, there was nothing else that you could have done. Eggsy knew the risks. We all do. There was nothing else that you could have done for him there. I'm sorry, Harry.”

Harry had nodded and swallowed down the protests, the guilt, and the pleas that easily jumped onto her tongue. Roxy was right. There was nothing else for them there.

Yet she still couldn't force herself to walk out and into the car.

“We can't leave him there, Roxy.”

Her voice had been too high, too thin. But not shaky.

“I'll get him out, Harry. Don't worry about it.”

Merlin had assured her and it was only then that Harry had moved under Roxy's watchful gaze.

She hadn't said a word after that. Only nodded when Merlin had spoken to her and explained what they were going to do about Valentine and his plans. Once the roles were clear, they were dismissed to take up their posts. Still, Harry felt numb.

“You're a Kingsman now. You have a duty to fulfil. Make him proud, lass.”

Merlin had reminded her as he handed her one of the pinstriped bespoke suits and the invitation to Valentine's bunker.

Harry had only nodded as she accepted the suit and invitation and went to get ready for the gala with Roxy's help. They were both silent, Harry not in the mood to talk and Roxy unsure of what to say to her in regards to Eggsy's loss. Roxy knew that there was a charged change in the relationship between Harry and Eggsy, but had been tactful enough to not say anything until Harry herself had brought it up.

So far, Harry hadn't. The silence accompanied the grief of Eggsy's being gunned down not even two hundred meters away from them. Roxy knew that Harry would eventually talk. But until that time, she let her be and hoped that Harry wouldn't do anything suicidal while taking down Valentine.

So they simply wished each other good luck and went on to do their duties.

Harry did smirk a bit when she recalled hitting Charlie. It didn't make up for the shite he had put her through, or ease the ache of losing Eggsy, but it was satisfying to watch his head snap back with the force of her hit. It had also lit up the rage that had been lying dormant since Kentucky.

It was all she needed to get through all of the trained men and even Gazelle.

Valentine had been the icing on the cake (she hated to admit it, but part of her had enjoyed skewering him like the worm he truly was) as was meeting the queen. God, her mum would be so jealous!

The smirk fell from her face and she turned to face the window the moment she heard Merlin enter the plane. Mum and Daisy. She hoped that they had survived and had been away from Dean at the least. If not, she was going to have to deal with that aftermath and she was tired.

She rubbed her eyes and sighed heavily, nearly jumping when Merlin patted her shoulder.

“Here. You look like you need it.”

Merlin handed her a tumbler of the whiskey that she had seen Eggsy drinking at least once or twice when she had seen him in his office.

She wanted to refuse it, but she knew that Merlin was doing her a kindness. Not to mention that he had also lost a friend. Maybe even more than just one and that tempered her refusal. She didn't want to hurt the last link she had with Eggsy.

So she took the drink and sipped it carefully, closing her eyes as the warmth spread through her body and made her body go loose as it hit her. It was calming, so she took another sip as she watched Merlin take a seat opposite of her and take a drink of his own glass.

He took a healthy swallow and put the glass down on the table and Harry followed suit. Neither of them spoke for several moments and it was Merlin himself that broke the silence.

“Roxy's been picked up and is heading towards the mansion. She's fine. Just a few bumps and bruises. Both of you will need to be checked out and after a rest, we will convene and start evaluating the damage and do some control.”

Harry opened her mouth to protest the enforced rest, but Merlin shut her up with a well-timed glare. She could see now where Eggsy had learned that particular trick. It was steely and cold and it felt like it was piercing right into her soul. She tried to protest, but no words came out. She finally gave up and snapped her mouth shut.

“You'll thank me for it later. Putting the world together again won't leave that much time for sleep. Get as much of it as you possibly can now.”

Maybe it was the whiskey, or maybe it was the suggestion of not having enough sleep later. Whatever it was, had Harry's eyes drooping and in seconds, she was completely gone.

~*~*~*~*

“How is she?”

Roxy asked as she sat up in the bed, pulling down the camisole that she had dug up in his wardrobe. The one she had left in the emergency bundle the last time they had met.

It had been... Unexpected would have been an understatement. Neither of them had thought much of the sparks that had flared between them the few times they had been alone. Neither of them expected to end up together. But they had and neither Merlin nor Roxy wanted to trade it for anything.

Even if it meant sneaking about and pretending that nothing was happening in the first place.

“Sleeping. I made sure to ask Vivian to give her something to sleep the night through.”

Merlin admitted, sitting up and propping himself up against the pillows and headboard as he watched Roxy get dressed. He wanted to reach out and trace the knobs of her spine again, as he had done when she had fallen asleep after their first bout of lovemaking.

But they never had the time anymore and she understood that they had to go back to work in a few hours. It wouldn't do to wake up in the same bed and give into temptation. Not when there was so much to do.

Roxy hummed to herself, pulling up her pants and trousers before she gathered her hair up and began to plait it, her hands moving with graceful skill as she twisted the golden brown strands into a tight plait.

“Anything on Eggsy?”

She asked carefully, her voice delicate as it voiced the words.

Merlin made a face at the question.

“No actual signs of waking up as of yet. But the intracranial pressure is manageable after the operation. But he's lost the eye.”

He stopped talking and pressed his fingers into his eyelids in an effort to massage the tiredness and the sorrow that was trying to well up inside of him away. He didn't want to give voice to it. Not when he felt that it would be greedy to hope for more miracles.

It had been sheer luck and maybe even Eggsy's own mulishness that had him surviving a point blank shot to the head. No one had expected the agents that had been dispatched not even fifteen minutes after the massacre to find a heartbeat and work feverishly to keep him alive before the medical team took over. The one that had found him had been shaken up when Merlin had spoken to her.

“He groaned. When I touched his head.”

She had whispered, her hands wrapped tightly around a mug that was heavily laced with whiskey that Merlin could smell even standing a foot away from her.

She had those dark, liquid eyes that seemed fathomless in her pale oval face as she looked up to him and continued.

“I touched his head and my fingers sank into the hole and he made a horrible sound that was just-”

She broke off and took a gulp of the tea, her hands shaking badly enough that some of it sloshed over the sides of the cup. She swallowed and continued.

“The sound...I don't know if I can forget it. It was just...It was like the sound of a dying lion or a wolf. That raw. That feral. I put my hand on his neck and found the pulse then. I just...I can't imagine how he can be alive. I really can't.”

She drank more of the tea and Merlin let her be. He wasn't sadistic enough to force the medic to relive the horrors of finding a seemingly dead man come to life again.

He had told Roxy right after, when she had come into his office to ask what the ETA was on the next step of the mission.

He hadn't meant to tell her, knowing how close she was to Harry, but he had needed to tell someone else the news. Eggsy had been his friend first. Colleague second. He hadn't processed the grief of losing him and now, the news that he was hanging on by a thread was more than he could contain. It was true that he was Merlin, but he was also human and he could only hold the fort for so long.

“Eggsy's alive. Got a hole in his head and is comatose for the moment, but he's alive.”

They weren't elegant words and his burr came out thick when he uttered them, but Roxy understood. She only made a soft noise and put her hand on his shoulder in a gesture of consolation.

He would have shrugged it off if it had been someone else. But instead, he let her rest her hand there before he cleared his throat and was back to business again.

He swallowed hard and lowered his hand. He was no longer tired. Just discombobulated and he knew that there was no point in sleeping. The world was probably going to get worse before it got better and he might as well get started helping sort things out rather than lying in his bed and playing the game of what if.

“Where are you going?” Roxy asked him once she had her shirt buttoned up and her shoes on.

“Work. I'm not doing anyone any good lying in bed and tormenting myself with probability. You can join me if you want. Let Harry sleep though. I don't want for her to be exhausted and histrionic when she sees Eggsy.”

Roxy drew in a breath sharply at that revelation.

“Isn't it too soon? They don't know if Eggsy's going to wake up. Or what state he will be in when he does.”

Merlin snorted as he got dressed, the movements automatic and precise as he did.

“And it would make it better if we tell her six months, maybe a year down the line if he dies? Do you think she'll ever forgive us for lying to her like that? It's not the greatest thing, to show her Eggsy when he's still on the knife's edge. But it's better she knows now and makes her peace with it, than to find out when we're dragging her to the funeral.”

Roxy made a moue of distaste at that, but said nothing.

“Roxanne, Eggsy... I think, no I _know,_ Eggsy means more to Hero than even she knows. You didn't see her on the plane right after. She was bereft. As much as she can show her grief, that is. It might be cruel to show her a comatose Eggsy, but it's an even harsher gesture to keep him completely hidden from her.”

Roxy frowned, but she didn't argue. She knew that if the situations were reversed, she'd want the same courtesy. Even if it seemed like rubbing salt in a wound by doing so.

“So when she wakes up, she sees him?”

Merlin nodded.

“All right.”

~*~*~*~

Harry woke up to the amused face of a red-haired Valkyrie in scrubs staring down at her. It was unnerving, and slightly comforting at the same time. She blinked at the sight, making the Valkyrie smile kindly at her.

“Morning, Hero. I'm Vivian, the head of the infirmary. How are you feeling?”

It made Harry feel embarrassed and slightly exposed to be seen like that by someone she didn't know. She also didn't like people she didn't know calling her by her real name. Not to mention the fact that she was wearing nothing more than a flimsy hospital gown and she was a hundred percent sure that she had the mother of all bedheads to contend with. She swallowed a couple of times as she got her feelings in check before she sat up, pulling the blankets up to her chest.

She didn't know exactly what she was feeling, so instead skipped the question.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly ten in the morning. You don't have anything other than meetings scheduled today. Merlin's orders. But you are to be released as soon as you're ready to go.”

Harry nodded and picked at the tape that was still on the back of her hand from no doubt the IV line they must have had in her.

“So what's the verdict?”

“Bruises mostly and multiple small contusions. You got off lucky in needing just a few days of rest to get it all sorted out.”

Bruises were always better than cracked ribs or fractures, so she sighed in relief. She didn't have to be a prisoner in the infirmary. That was certainly something on the plus side.

“Sounds good. Where can I clean up? And where can I find Merlin?”

Vivian grinned at her and gestured to the closed door behind her.

“There's a shower there, clothes will be left for you on that chair and Merlin is in Arthur's office. He did ask me to tell you that your mother and sister have been checked on and they are fine. Shaken, but fine. Make sure you see him once you're done.”

Harry nodded, barely paying attention as Vivian left the room, leaving Harry mercifully alone with her thoughts. At least she didn't have the added burden of looking after her mum and Daisy, Harry mused as she got herself together as fast as she could with her sore ribs. Once that was done, she headed to Arthur's office.

She remembered to knock at the last minute before Merlin gave her the go ahead to enter and she was mildly surprised to see Roxy and several other agents, each looking a bit worse for the wear sitting at the table. She was surprised, but didn't show it as she took the seat that she was directed to, which she recognized as being Eggsy's. It hit her with a wave of sorrow, that knowledge, but she didn't let it overwhelm her.

“Hero. Good to see you. Now we can begin.”

The other agents nodded in acknowledgement and waited for Merlin to continue.

“I will be acting as Arthur for the time being. There will be an election and you may put your candidates forward in two week's time. But in the meantime, I will assume the title. Now.”

Here, he turned to look at Harry and Roxy, making the rest of the table do the same, much to Harry's chagrin.

“I think we can all agree that Hero Hart and Roxanne Morton have more than proven themselves as able agents with the stopping of Valentine and his plans. Are we all in agreement?”

The other agents dipped their heads in agreement and Harry let out a quiet sigh of relief she hadn't realized that she had been holding. She had forgotten about the tests. With Eggsy being gone and Valentine's madness needing to be stopped, the election process had been eclipsed. It was suddenly brought back to the forefront here, at this elegant table that she had tricked that arsehole Chester King into both giving himself away and killing him to finish the puzzle.

“Then I am proud to announce the newest knights – Roxanne Morton is our new Lancelot and Hero Hart is Bedivere. Welcome to Kingsman.”

The other knights clapped and there was a brief toast to the newest knights, but there was a tension in the room that even as practised as the rest of the knights were, they couldn't really suppress.

Protocol dictated that the newest recruit would take on the name of the dead knight that they would replace. Merlin's calm anointing of Harry as Bedivere raised more than just a few eyebrows. It had been common knowledge that Lancelot had been killed by Valentine's henchwoman. But Galahad? What had been his fate?

“Before we move on to the next piece of business, I would like to announce that several of our other agents are out of commission due to the events of V-day. Geraint, Hector, Gareth, and Galahad are on that list. Arthur, Guinevere, Uther, Agravaine, Gorlois, Nimue and Dragonet are lost. We were lucky our casualties were not as severe as in other agencies, but still severe enough to put in the Avalon protocol in place.”

The older knights snapped out of their shock when the protocol was announced. It hadn't been put into place since World War Two, when the knights had nearly been decimated and the rules for acceptance had become more flexible and more co-operative with the other agencies in the United Kingdom. It was serious and the other knights reeled with the importance of it.

All of them except Harry, who was still reeling from the double-blow of being announced a knight and knowing that her Eggsy was alive.

“ _Probably not in one piece. Probably not the same, either, love.”_

She clamped down on those thoughts viciously.

Eggsy was alive.

That was all that mattered to her at that point.

Her Eggsy was alive.

 


	5. You Don't Always Have To Be Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and the rest of the Kingsman are back putting not just the UK, but the world at large back in order. While Harry is training and being handled by Hector, Eggsy's future may or may not be set in stone and both Harry and Merlin wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that this chapter took a turn I wasn't expecting, with the inclusion of Harry's work in the field and Hector, who is based on Sean Bean. No idea why this happened, but since Merlin is acting as de-factor Arthur and recruting more people to the agency, other knights not in the field would be handling the field ops. 
> 
> proofed and edited, but I do make mistakes from time to time, so if it happens, they will be fixed. 
> 
> Title is from Snow Patrol.

Harry knew that Merlin was a clever bloke. He had to be if he was more or less running Kingsman single-handedly and putting the British government back in order. So again she shouldn’t have been surprised that he had announced both their off-duty and casualty rosters in the same breath as the Avalon protocol.

“ _Clever. Too clever by half_.”

Her handler only snorted, knowing full well that the remark was just a reflex.

Harry muttered as she looked through the viewfinder and blew out a big breath as she slid her finger on the trigger of her rifle. She was waiting for that slimy wanker who was selling seats in Parliament to just turn his head to the left so that she could get a good shot and not have too many casualties in the street. V-day was still too damned fresh in everyone’s minds, despite it having been three weeks and a half since it had happened and everyone was still a bit touchy about killing when not necessary. But when it was needed…

The bastard turned his head just at the right time. Harry’s mouth tightened and she took in a breath at the same time she squeezed the trigger.

It was a neat hit, making him jerk and arch backwards at the impact of the bullet with his skull. There was a fine mist of blood and bone before he fell onto the pavement, eliciting only a few cries of alarm and the attentions of a police officer. It was as low key as she could have possibly hoped for and once she had heard the sound of an ambulance coming, she began dismantling her rifle in short, sharp moves. She was glad then that she had taken the advice of her handler to not use the larger rounds for this mission. Hector had handed her a lower calibre round when he had been going over her choice of munition and she had been set to argue, but he had only snickered at her protests.

“Unless you want some poor bystander wearing the target's brains, go for the smaller rounds. I'm sure that there's enough PTSD cases walking around. Don't traumatize the populace needlessly.”

Hector added in his harsh northern voice as he crutched his way over to the ammunitions area and deposited the rounds Harry originally had picked up back into their rightful places. She had frowned at being corrected like a child, but had enough sense to keep her mouth shut. Especially since Hector had been a Knight for roughly seventeen years and whose dossier was focused mostly in the hotspots of Latin America. That had been the reason why he and along with other Knights who were not as seriously injured had been pressed into being handlers now that they were unable to be in the field for the time being. The Avalon protocol was working, but it took time to train handlers to handle the Knights that had just come into the field. That was why Rox had been paired with Geraint and sent off to Hong Kong for the past while.

Hector was pretty easy going and had let her do her mission with minimal interference, just speaking when she needed cues and how to set up her rifle. He had been silent when she had been waiting for the target, since he was usually a sniper and knew the importance of not being distracted when setting up a shot. In fact, she hadn't even been sure she had been watched until she heard the faint huff of amusement when she had nailed the shot.

“ _Neat kill, Bedivere. You've got fifteen minutes to get out of the area. Rendezvous is at St. Paul's. Are you done with the equipment?_ ”

The loud sound of the zip being done up on her backpack was her answer, making Hector again give that soft, huffing laugh.

“So what's the quickest route out then?”

Harry asked as she undid her hair and swung the knapsack onto her back, hiding a wince at how heavy the case of her rifle actually was. She buttoned up her coat and gave the area a quick sweep. Satisfied that she wasn't leaving a trace, she wrenched the rooftop door open and quickly ran down the stairs.

“ _There's a maintenance lift to your left. Ninth floor. Goes directly outside. Take that and head to the station three blocks away. There's an Oyster card in your breast pocket.”_

“I'd rather that I had a car, Hector.”

“ _Too obvious in this area, Bedivere. The tube's the safest and most anonymous option. Just make sure that you engage the jamming device on your glasses when you get in. Merlin and Balin can't spare the time or the manpower to erase your footprint at the moment.”_

“Understood. I still am not happy about the situation, you realize.”

“ _Believe me when I say you're not the only one who had made the objection. At least yours wasn't a strongly worded one like the others I've received_.”

“I'll keep that in mind for next time.”

 _“Fantastic. Now get into that lift. We don't have that much time before the sweeps start_.”

~*~*~*~*

Merlin's hands were flying over the keyboard as he sat in Arthur's office when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Hector made his laborious way into the office. Although he had been lucky when he had been posted in Panama during V-day, he hadn't escaped unscathed. He had gotten hit twice in the right leg and wouldn't be field ready for half a year, something that didn't please him at all. He had been one of the colonial born Kingsman, hailing from Belize, and hadn't ever culturally acclimatized to being in London. He enjoyed being in Yorkshire, oddly enough. His stints at Kingsman headquarters were usually quite brief. He only stayed long enough to hand in his reports, visit his family and get his next mission parameters. That was when he wasn't recovering from injuries.

Merlin could count the number of times that he had seen Hector in England longer than a few months on both hands. This time was the longest he'd ever seen the agent stay. Not by choice, but by necessity. His leg was a mass of screws and pins and without the crutches, he'd be in a wheelchair or bed bound. Merlin was sure that it was Hector's own innate stubbornness that had him up and about. Even with such limited mobility.

“Your lass nailed it. First shot and got out without a trace. She's writing the report now.”

Hector told Merlin as he tossed his own finished report onto Merlin's desk.

“Any trouble?”

Hector shook his head.

“Listened about the rounds, didn't she? I'd like to train her as a sniper. Nerves of steel and knows to keep quiet. Easy to handle as well.”

Merlin nodded, folding his hands and resting his chin on them.

“Did she say anything of importance?”

Hector's large, mobile mouth quirked up into a slight grin at the question.

“Other than commenting on your underhandedness over the Galahad situation, not much else.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow at that. Hector shrugged as he shifted the crutches, the lines around his mouth tightening at the pain his injuries were no doubt giving him.

“I don't have much else to say on that other than to warn you that she'd coming in twenty and that I hope you know what you're doing. Galahad's mark is all over her, if you know what to look for. It wouldn't do to keep her too far into the dark for much longer than you have to.”

Hector's face clouded over before he continued.

“It didn't end so well with Alisander and Mark, if I recall correctly.”

Merlin's eye twitched as he recalled how well the relationship between those two had ended and the scandal afterwards. Alisander had never been the same once he had found out his child was in an orphanage in Galway. Mark had opted to retire and work in the European liaison office. That had led the erstwhile Arthur in placing draconian rules to prevent it from ever happening again. It had also led to the reduction of women in the field, a ban that only had just been lifted in the last fifteen years.

“It will be taken care of, Hector. You needn't worry about Bedivere and Galahad.”

Hector worked his jaw at that, debating whether to say anything else before he just sighed heavily and shook his head.

“I'll leave you to it, Arthur.”

He turned and hobbled out of the office, leaving Merlin to wonder whether the last was meant as a title or as a warning.

With Hector, one couldn't ever be sure.

He didn't have time to ponder the implications, since Bedivere appeared not even five minutes after Hector exited, her jaw clenched tightly and her shoulders hunched. Although she was trying to hide her emotions, these two gestures served as a beacon for Merlin.

He rose from his desk and went to meet her.

“I...”

She paused and swallowed hard, her face going slightly paler as she forced herself to continue. Merlin waited, taking Hector's words to mind. He knew that it had gutted Harry when they all believed Eggsy dead. He had kept her busy as to not dwell on that situation until he knew where they stood with Eggsy's condition. He had been emotionally shaken up. He could only imagine the turmoil of emotions that Harry was going through as Eggsy's protege and possibly lover. Eggsy hadn't had the time to clarify their relationship. But Merlin suspected that it was more than just a one night stand.

So he waited until she had gotten herself under control.

“I need to see him, Merlin. I've waited too long and I can't stay like this, not knowing how he is.”

Her eyes were wide and dark and even if Merlin hadn't been inclined to grant her request, the raw ache in them would be enough to make him change his mind. He hadn't ever seen her so vulnerable. Not even when she was elevated to Knighthood and that made him hurt for her as well.

“I know. Come with me.”

~*~*~*~*

It was Vivian that met them at the entrance of the ICU wing, a clipboard cradled in the crook of her arm as she stood there patiently waiting for them to show up.

“Vivian.” Merlin greeted her while Harry smiled weakly, being too nervous to do much of anything else. Vivian smiled back and nodded to Merlin.

“How is he?” Merlin asked, taking over the conversation once he saw that Harry was only just keeping it together and was moments from crawling out of her skin.

“He's breathing on his own now, which is a good sign. He's at a three on the Glasgow coma scale and the wound is healing nicely. No infections or complications.” Vivian answered as she tapped on her clipboard to double-check her notes.

“So that's good, right? Means he's going to wake up eventually?”

Harry asked quietly. Vivian turned to her and smiled sympathetically. She had been briefed by Merlin about the closeness between Galahad and Bedivere before the newest Kingsman had even set foot in the infirmary. She wished that she could give an affirmative answer regarding Galahad's condition, but didn't want to give her false hope. Not when she had seen the extent of Galahad's injuries.

“We hope so. It's still too early to tell with such a serious injury. He's improving. Not as fast as we'd wish for, but he is getting there. Would you like to see him now?”

Harry swallowed and nodded. “I would.”

“I'm afraid that you can't stay too long. He will be taken for more tests today.” Vivian explained as they walked down the brightly lit hallway towards the fourth room. Vivian stood aside and gestured Harry in, who stepped into the room a bit cautiously.

Although it looked exactly like the room she had woken up in the morning she had become a Kingsman, it was unnerving to know that Eggsy was just a few feet away, behind the machines that regulated his vitals and kept him alive. Her heart sped up in her chest as she came closer, mindful of the machines and she had to force herself to breathe slowly and calm down. It wouldn't do if she hyperventilated and passed out now that she got her chance to see Eggsy.

Eggsy lay quite still in the bed, the blue blankets pulled up to his chest. His arms rested above the blankets and the left one was splinted down and had numerous lines going into it. There were electrodes on his chest and a port in his neck with more lines going into it. Harry's eyes travelled up to his head and she had to stifle a cry at the sight of Eggsy's still bandaged head, his messy, half-shaved head, and the paleness of his face. Only his lashes, which made dark crescents onto his now sharp cheekbones, provided a touch of colour. There was a tube going into his nose and there was a bandage round his neck as well.

“Oh Eggsy.” She whispered as she collapsed into the chair next to the bed. She had known, logically, that it was bad. Headshots were performed for a reason. It was a very strong, or a very lucky person that made it through after getting shot in the head. She knew that Eggsy wasn't quite out of the woods yet, from all the reading she had managed to sneak when she wasn't off on missions. Neurological issues would arise. Problems with his vision as well. She was painfully aware of the empty socket that was thankfully hidden under bandages at the moment.

Staying alive had been the first hurdle. Waking up and coping with the damage the bullet left behind would be the next one. It would be hard and tough, but Harry  _knew_ that he would be up to the challenge. He had come this far. It would just take a bit more time for him to finally get there.

Fixing this firmly in her mind, she sat up straight and gently curled her hand around his. Although it was lax, it was warm and she could feel the comforting thud of his pulse thrumming along just underneath the thin skin of his wrist. She held his hand for a few moments, running her fingers lightly down the pads of his fingers and the palm of his hand. She did this for a few moments, memorizing the feel of the skin, the bumps of the bones underneath the muscle and tendons before she was calm enough to speak.

“I miss you, Eggsy. We all do and I hope you come back to us soon.”

She swallowed thickly before she continued.

“I've been in the field for awhile and Hector says that I should train as a sniper. He should know, Merlin says that's his bag. I'm Bedivere, actually. That's how we found out you were still alive. Can't take the name of a living knight, rules and all that.”

She felt tears prickling at her eyes then and she had to fight to hold back the tears. She wasn't a crier. Too many years of living with Dean had taught her tears were a weakness to be exploited. Only when she was utterly sure no one would see her, would she cry.

“Eggsy...I know it might be asking too much here...But you gotta wake up, love. I know I'm asking for a lot, but...Please, Eggsy. Merlin misses you. Rox misses you. _I_ miss you and I love you. So _please_.”

The last was nothing more than a whisper and she bit her lip to stop from outright bawling at Eggsy's bedside. It wouldn't do to walk out and meet Merlin with tears and snot running down her face.

Choking back a wet laugh at the idea, she let go of Eggy's hand to root around in her purse for a handkerchief when she felt her hand tugged back. It was faint, but it had definitely happened. Not daring to hope, she pulled away and sure enough, Eggsy pulled her hand back.

She looked at his face, but it was still slack and Eggsy slept on. She deflated a bit, but she had to remind herself that it was something. He would wake up. It was just a matter of when.

~*~*~*~*~

“ _Never thought I'd be handling a mission in Glasgow, of all places.”_

Hector muttered in her ear as she ran across the crowded street, her window of opportunity closing as she rushed to meet the car that Hector had somehow wrangled out of headquarters. She had left Glasgow about an hour ago and she only had just caught the train with only enough time to spare.

“You're not the only one.”

Harry replied as she zig-zagged in and out of the moving throngs of people making their way home after the work-week was done. She didn't stop running until she spotted the familiar Kingsman dark cab and slid into the open back.

“ _Well, to be fair-Wait. Merlin wants you back to headquarters ASAP. Hang on tight, we're going to have to pull a few tricks. And before you ask, I don't know why he's wanting you back there fast.”_

Hector cut the connection and the car sped up, weaving in and out of traffic and alleys so fast that it made Harry want to throw up at the starts and stops that the driver was using in order to get them to headquarters. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm her stomach, not focusing on anything else until the car finally stopped and the door opened.

“ _He's in medical at the moment. Good luck.”_

Hector disconnected their frequency the moment she scrambled out, her backpack clutched tight as she moved through the halls and into the area that she was sure she could now find in her sleep after being there for most of her spare time.

She found Merlin at the entrance along with Vivian, both of them turning to look at her when she arrived slightly out of breath and with her eyes wide and worried.

“We don't know how long we have until he loses consciousness, hence the urgent call.”

Harry's face drained of blood at Merlin's words and her jaw worked as her heart sped up.

“Is he-”

Merlin stepped aside.

“Go see for yourself.”

She didn't have to be told twice and rushed to Eggsy's room, her knees nearly giving out when she entered the room and saw him slowly turn his head and look at her. He smiled, a half-smile before he spoke.

“Ha-rry.”

It was soft, a bit slurred, but it was her name coming from Eggsy's lips. He was awake. After almost three months, he was awake.

She walked into the room slowly as if to not startle him. Once she got next to his bed, she placed her bag on the floor, leaned over and embraced him as if he were glass.

“You came back. Oh Eggsy, you came back.”

She whispered like a prayer as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent that was still fairly hospital like, but with strong traces of Eggsy underneath.

Harry pulled away slightly and smiled at him, the tears pooling in her eyes as he looked at her and smiled brightly, making him look more like the Eggsy she had first met.

“I did. For...You...I...Did.”

It was only then that she finally cried.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hector-The idea for the agency possibly having overseas offices also got me thinking about the former colonies and whether they would also have agents specializing in those areas. I was born in the country next to Belize and recall the disputes about the borders, so hence that being chosen as Hector's specialty. He does play a bit of a paternal role for her that she's lacking as Eggsy is out of the picture and Merlin is busier than all out holding it together.
> 
> Harry as a sniper-It just fit for her to be a sniper in this universe, since there is a scene in the movie about sniping. I also really like the Russian snipers from WWII, so that also came into play for her specialty. 
> 
> Harry's reactions-I can't imagine Harry would be overly emotional, but when she reaches her limit, she breaks down hard. Eggsy right now is her main source of a security and love she never had before, so she is less than calm regarding Eggsy and his condition. 
> 
> The other knights-I am getting them strictly from Le Morte D'Arthur by Malory, the Canterbury Classics edition. There are so many possible knights that have shown up, I'm just pulling in the lesser known ones in.
> 
> Glasgow Coma Scale-It's used to determine exactly how deep a coma is. The fact that Eggsy's a three means that he's not as deeply comatose as he was earlier and it's a good sign. I'm not in the medical field, so I just research and again, if I make mistakes apologies.
> 
> Thank you again for your patience (I was away at a conference and dealing with some personal stuff) and thanks for reading still.


	6. You Are Here, So That Is Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the dust has settled and the world has been put to rights, lovers reunited and missions to undertake. The last thing that Harry needs to do is to visit her past and make a choice-To either cut her ties completely, or to continue with its burdens.

 

Eggsy looked at her, his gaze thoughtful and calculating as he studied her. Harry pretended that she didn't notice his scrutiny as she fixed her cuff links. Just like she pretended that she wasn't nervous and slightly nauseous about the upcoming visit. Eggsy, she knew, wasn't fooled. But he was willing to play along with her, just like she was willing to turn a blind eye to him downplaying his exhaustion or his limp when it got too bad.

“You’ll feel better after. Trust me.”

Eggsy assured Harry, his words carefully enunciated as he spoke. Harry mock scowled as she finished fiddling with her sleeves and instead crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I get that. I still don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, Eggsy. It’s me mum! It’s not the same as sniping a target or wiping out data in some crooked company! It’s me mum I’m tellin’ ta and fuck you very much!”

Eggsy’s mouth thinned out at the outburst and he leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands in front of himself.

“Then don’t go. It is entirely your choice whether you want to have her be part of your life still. Or to walk away. It is your life and your decision to make. I can’t dissuade or persuade you.”

Eggsy pointed out, making Harry snort and smooth back her hair, which was as always, tamed in a chignon with just a few loose curls to frame her face. She repeated the action before she caught herself and held her hands tightly in front of her and focused on the pain of her signet ring cutting into the skin of her fingers. It helped, even though she knew she would regret the mark on her hand later on.

“You’re right. As always. Well, except for the time with-“

“Don’t even hint at Barcelona. You promised.”

Eggsy cut her off, his tone one of rueful amusement. She had promised to not mention the September mission in Barcelona that he and Hector had co-handled to anyone else. He hadn’t told her to not bring it up to him or Hector, who was still a bit sore about it.

Harry smirked at that, before her face fell back into seriousness.

“I know. It’s not your choice and I’m not askin’ fer you to do it. It’s my choice and I have to make it before she thinks that I’m going to be bailing her out every single time that Dean does something.”

She sighed and rubbed at her forehead tiredly.

Merlin had checked on her mother at her request after the carnage was somewhat contained and the rebuilding had started. She had spoken to Michelle and heard Daisy babble to her on her mobile, sent money and even tried to find a new flat for her mother outside of the estate, but that had been it. She couldn’t bring herself to see her mother or Daisy. Not when Eggsy’s health was in such a precarious balance. Harry could only handle so much and for once, she had made the selfish decision and focused on herself and the people that made up her life now.

To her credit, Michelle Hart had tried, being shocked back to her senses after V-day. She had stopped getting wasted and had started to take care of herself and of Daisy better now that Harry wasn’t around to do so. She had taken the money, but had resisted moving out of the estate. Although Harry hadn’t been pleased about that, she let her mother be. Michelle was an adult.

And then Dean had come back.

It was just like it had been when she was a child. A small gesture here and there. Gifts. Promises to change. To be better (“I’m a changed man, Michelle! I swear it on me mum!”). To give Daisy a better life than before. And Michelle had fallen in with him, as Harry had feared, yet known she would.

And then the beatings started.

The hospital visits and the scrambling around to get either Jamal or Ryan or their girls or sisters or mums to watch Daisy. The worry at the back of her mind that she would have Merlin relay the message that this time, Dean had gone too damned far. The worry that Daisy was going to catch the eye of one of Dean’s cronies.

It was in Bucharest when it had all come to a head.

It should have been an easy extraction: Get the MI6 agent and get out without a trace. But she had been distracted and nearly gotten both of them killed. As it was, Hector was furious with her. Eggsy himself had been livid once he had gotten the report. Harry had been furious with herself.

“I cocked it up. I know.”

She didn’t apologize. She knew that was the last thing that they wanted to hear.

“Why did you cock it up?”

Merlin asked, making her feel like she was in fifth form over again and her Literature teacher was asking her why she had just barely scraped by in her finals.

Harry resisted the urge to remain stubbornly silent and answered.

“I was worried about Daisy, since me mum wasn’t answering her mobile.”

“Exactly. You weren’t a hundred percent focused on the mission. I don’t need to tell you that you’re either going to have to compartmentalize or figure out a way to permanently deal with your sister and your mother. You got lucky this time. There may not be a next time. Think on it.”

He hadn’t been unnecessarily harsh. He had only told her the truth. A truth that had been reiterated by Eggsy that night.

“We don’t always get second chances, Hero. I know I got extremely lucky, by the grace of God and all that. I don’t doubt your abilities at all. But Merlin is right.”

Eggsy had been gentler about it, murmuring the words as they lay in bed and he wound one of her curls around his fingers and then pressing a kiss to her shoulder to soothe the sting of his words.

“This can’t continue.”

Harry had turned to look at him, kissing that sharp line of cheekbone before she replied.

“I know.”

Harry chewed her bottom lip as she came back to the present. Merlin and Eggsy were right, despite their different ways of saying it. She had to make a choice and as much as she was nervous and upset about making it, she would much rather be the one pulling the trigger than being forced to do so.

“All right. I’m going. I won’t be long. Go to your physio.”

Eggsy wrinkled his nose and stood up. Carefully, since his balance was still touch and go and went to her, embracing her.

“You’ll do fine.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry watched the streets change as the car went further and further away from Kingsman Manor and towards South London and the still painful memories of her early years. Despite the outward polish and armour that her suit figuratively and literally afforded her, Harry was slightly uncomfortable at going back there for whatever reason. But it had finally come to this and she was going to do it.

She smoothed down the dark grey fabric of her sleeves down for what she knew was the seventh time since she had gotten into the car and sighed again. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth and tried to not think about the meeting that would happen the minute that she would step into the flat that her mum was still living in with Daisy and Dean. Harry would much rather avoid Dean and her mum altogether, but she knew that this was a long overdue visit.

Harry very carefully tried to not think about the reason for the visit. It certainly wasn’t for altruism. She knew that her supposed self-centred ways would be one of the accusations thrown at her. It would hurt and she knew she would have to be ready for it. Her mother had been very good at manipulation and misplacing guilt.

Even when she was lying on the couch with her hair a tangled rat's nest and last night's make up smeared across her temples, she could always play up Harry's guilt and sympathies. When she was too out of it to pick up Daisy and change her and feed her, she had always gone back to remind Harry that she had raised her alone after Lee's death.

(Harry couldn't help but to remember that Dean had showed up not too long after Lee's death and that a great aunt and a few other relatives had stepped in to help. But of course, Michelle had conveniently forgotten _that_ )

It had been one thing, to see all of the remaining mothers in the blocks in similar or even worse states, but now, after having met Roxy’s aunt and Eggsy’s mother and even Hector’s daughters…She saw that she simply couldn’t give Michelle blanket immunity any longer. She wasn’t supposed to take care of her mother. It wasn’t how things should have worked at all.

“ _But what about Eggsy? He’s not the same man that you met outside of the station. Why would you give a toss about him?”_

That had been one of the thoughts that had entered her mind when she mulled over what the possibilities of her visit could take. She was sure that her mum would bring him up.

But she knew the answer to that hypothetical question.

He had never  _expected_ it of her. Nor had he asked. She had willingly stood by him because they were equals. 

And quite simply, because they belonged to each other.

Her Eggsy, who was making a speedy recovery, but still got frustrated when he miscalculated distances or when he needed a wheelchair to get around. Or when the words were mixed up in his head or they simply wouldn't come. They said it would take time for him to get better. It had only been four months since he had woken up from a coma and he had made great strides.

He was usually upbeat and mulishly determined to push himself as hard as he could. But there were days when it was simply impossible. Those days would see him unable to get out of bed in his darkened room and needing (even though he would deny it if asked) to have her or Merlin assure him that this was not how it was always going to be. Days when feeding himself was an impossible task that left him with a mess on his shirt and his face flushed red with embarrassment. Days when she would curl up behind him and kiss the nape of his neck and the curve of his shoulder and twine her fingers with his until he fell asleep.

It always passed and she never begrudged him those days. Not like she had when Michelle was too out of it to pay attention and everything was heaped up on her shoulders. Even though Eggsy muttered darkly about being a burden, she knew that he wasn't. How could he be?

Not when there was love freely given and freely received between them. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt that if she had been the one shot, he'd have done the same for her because of the love Eggsy had for her. Michelle hadn't done anything to earn the loyalty and patience that Harry had shown her all those years while yearning for her mother to finally  _be_ a mother. Yet she had expected and exploited it all for the sake of a man who intimidated her, beat her and drugged her to forget the mess that she had become and dragged her daughter down into.

Harry bit her lip and opened her eyes again, counting to twelve to calm down. She needed her wits and her temper in check once she met with her estranged mother. Being enraged about the past wasn't going to help in that at all.

She continued counting until the driver stopped in front of the miserable and dingy looking estate that she had spent so many years in. She knew that by the subtle way that he looked at the decrepit and ill-maintained buildings that he wasn't keen on being parked there any longer than he had to. She couldn't blame him for thinking that way, despite the way that it made her bristle just a bit.

This had been her home. But the ties were either already cut or holding on by flimsy thread. She didn't owe anyone here any loyalty any longer.

Harry sighed and opened the door, thanking him quietly before she stepped out and made her way down the familiar path once more.

She only paused at the bottom of the stairs to square her shoulders back. It wasn't quite a battle, but Harry wasn't going to be taken unaware if she could help it.

~*~*~*~*~

“Harry. How... Nice to see you.”

It wasn't. Harry knew that from the red-eyed and strained smile on her mother's blotchy face.

“Can I come in?”

Her mother's mouth pursed, but she stepped aside and let Harry into the small area by the front door that was, surprisingly, only cluttered with what looked like Dean's stuff. The pram was gone as was the rest of the baby clutter that had always seemed to spill over.

Something wasn't right.

Harry looked at her mother critically then, trying to figure out what it was that was not quite as it should have been.

Michelle looked slightly hung over. One eye was only this side of puffy and a barely camouflaged bruise peeked out from the foundation and eye shadow that had been badly blended in. Harry looked down and saw the slight tremor of Michelle's hands. It had been a rough night then.

Just like countless others that she had been witness too.

“Where's Daise mum?”

Michelle chewed on her lip, the gesture one that shocked Harry to see it, since she had always thought that she was the spitting image of Lee Hart. Eggsy and the few pictures she had of Lee were the only confirmation she had of that. So to see a gesture that she often did on her mother's face was surreal to say the least.

“With your great-aunt in Sheffield. I...I contacted her and she agreed to take Daisy in until...”

Michelle paused and tucked a strand of brittle bleached hair behind her ear as she fought to compose herself.

“Until I get this all sorted out.”

Harry raised her head a fraction of an inch and squared her shoulders. Even if half of her battle was done, she still needed to tell her the rest.

“Mum, I-”

“Hero, I know. You don't have to rub my face in it. Believe me, I know. Why do you think I sent her away? Swallowed my pride so that she'd have a stable home? A chance to grow up in a house rather than a council flat? I don't need another daughter to remind me how I failed to protect her or how I fucked up her life.”

Michelle was vibrating, her eyes flashing in a defiant anger that Harry could see was a front for keeping it together somewhat. She knew that front all too well. She also knew that there was nothing else she could say.

“I knew what he had done to you and I knew that it was just a matter of time with Daisy. I couldn't screw it up with her. Not when I had a chance to make it up to her when I couldn't with you. Short of letting you go, there was nothing else I could have done for you. So I know, Hero. I know.”

Harry swallowed and reached out to her mother, only to have Michelle reach for the door and open it.

“Get out of here, Hero. This isn't where you should be. You got what your father wanted for you, to be with those stuck up tossers like he had always wanted. You got it, now get out.”

~*~*~*~*~

Eggsy found her standing at the window in her office, a bottle of whiskey opened and about four fingers of it gone already. Her suit jacket was hanging on the back of her chair and the long, thin pins she used to hold up her chignon were lying on her desk. She held the tumbler loosely, the amber liquid sloshing slightly when she brought it up to her lips to take a long pull and wince, her shoulders drawing up at the strong taste of straight whiskey.

He didn't announce himself and only leaned against the desk, his crutches within easy reach in case she looked like she needed for him to come. He waited, rubbing at the patch that covered the empty left socket. It would itch sometimes, as if reminding him of the event that he couldn't quite forget, but was assured that he would, in time.

“Even in the end, despite knowing how wrong she was, she had to make it seem like I was the unreasonable one. Like my dad and I were fools for wanting something better than a crap estate flat and just barely getting by on benefits and drug dealing.”

Eggsy winced as Harry turned around to look at him. She was hurt, but it was the hurt of having yet another disappointment that she had seen coming, but still hadn't quite absorbed yet.

She took another sip of the whiskey, grimaced and put the glass down beside the bottle.

“At least it's for the last time.”

She tried to smile, but Eggsy wasn't having any of it. Without waiting, he pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly, standing there with her for as long as she needed.

“I know. But why do I feel so bad about it all?”

Eggsy kissed her cheek and then the corner of her mouth. Light, chaste kisses that were meant to comfort her and nothing more.

“Because you wanted for her to be proud of you, even though you knew she couldn't be and it hurts to know that you were right. Even if you didn't want to be.”

She let out a muffled sob and looked up at him, taking in the compassionate expression on his face. Although she was still hurt, seeing him helped ease her grief.

“But I am. Just like I know your father would be.”

He kissed her forehead before she buried her face in his chest.

And if his shirt was wet when she finally pulled away, he didn't mention it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit that this was a bit bittersweet of an ending and even though it wasn't quite what I was expecting to write for these two. It wasn't a fluffy story to begin with and Harry's confrontation with her mother was something that I was curious to write about. To be honest, Michelle was a shitty mother and it shows how forgiving Eggsy was to not hold that against her. 
> 
> I understand that she was doing the best that she could with the limited resources that she had and that she did her best. But she still held her kids hostage to their detriment. Yes, there are a whole lot of factors going on there, but in this story, she at least finally recognized she needed to change once it was clear that Harry finally had a life Michelle couldn't follow Harry into. 
> 
> I wanted to explore how Harry finally makes a life away from Michelle and how it would pan out, hence the chapter focusing on that with bits of her life as a Kingsman, and of Eggsy's recovery and ambiguous future. 
> 
> Harry still cares for her family a whole lot, but she can't care for them like she used to since it is a detriment to herself if she does. Merlin and Eggsy know this and that is why they push her to make a choice that they know is hard. They aren't being jerks, they are being pragmatic. 
> 
> So again, if there are errors, they will be fixed, title is from Iwan Rheon's "Changing Times" and thank you all that have read, commented and enjoyed. Cheers.


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